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[ mako is different now. different than the girl she was before and maybe it's age and yeah maybe part of it's experience- the difference between standing in the walls of the shatterdome and suiting up to become part of a jaeger. but if chuck is going to take it apart- if he's going to hold it up to the light and be sure, then he knows it isn't the jaeger and knows it wasn't stacker, knows it wasn't him.
mako's different because of becket.
once, he thought he could see the distance between them in feet and inches. now they stand opposite by miles. ]
Y'aren't wearing yours either.
mako's different because of becket.
once, he thought he could see the distance between them in feet and inches. now they stand opposite by miles. ]
Y'aren't wearing yours either.
[he doesn't like hearing that, the rough cadence to his kid's voice. Herc tips his head back against the wall, an illusion of rest, when he's still hyper alert— even in a relatively safe area]
Gotta bunch of those suckers breathing poison into the air. Got the goddamn kraken plugging up all the lines.
Gotta bunch of those suckers breathing poison into the air. Got the goddamn kraken plugging up all the lines.
Too quiet, [ Alayne says almost immediately, as if she'd been waiting for Chuck to say what he'd said all along, like she knew that the words would eventually come. For her, death had lasted but an hour, maybe less, but during that time it had stretched — vast and still and complete — in every direction: both left and right, both top and bottom. Both without and within.
And if there was one thing that Alayne could not abide, one thing that continued to haunt her in the days and weeks that followed her resurrection, it was the silence. A quiet that was final and that filled ears that would never hear again. ]
And if there was one thing that Alayne could not abide, one thing that continued to haunt her in the days and weeks that followed her resurrection, it was the silence. A quiet that was final and that filled ears that would never hear again. ]
[ there comes a time maybe for every ranger, when they see the next target, or they hear the latest specs, and some part of them just wants to say no. not because they're afraid and not because they think they can't win (those are separate awarenesses and need to be sifted out) but because there should be some goddamn limits on what's believable.
and it's easier for chuck to think about that than to hear the ragged inhale his father's chest makes and to count the spaces inbetween them. just to be sure. ]
A kraken? [ and it sounds like are you sure when they both know what he means is you've gotta be fucking kidding me ]
and it's easier for chuck to think about that than to hear the ragged inhale his father's chest makes and to count the spaces inbetween them. just to be sure. ]
A kraken? [ and it sounds like are you sure when they both know what he means is you've gotta be fucking kidding me ]
[ For the longest time they stood opposite one another, comparable in the eyes of others in almost every way. A sliver of age separated Mako from Chuck, but they were both orphaned children with widowed fathers, kids who grew up in the military because that's what their dads knew and they were destined to be made in their fathers' images. As children they were peers, as cadets they were rivals, and for each step or leap or bound that Chuck took Mako pushed herself to keep the pace, to match his stride (and sometimes excel); to not fall behind.
That changed following graduation, when Chuck was assigned to copilot Striker with his father and Mako's drift stability fell into question again and again. After that, Mako found herself lagging behind while Chuck continued to leap ahead: into the conn-pod and onto the evening news. (—that's Striker Eureka's tenth kill to date—) Two paths that ran in tandem then diverged, one to the neural bridge and one to the engineering bay, but even then their past held them together, a tautly held thread constantly threatening to snap.
Now, however, Mako's not too sure. Becoming one of Gipsy's pilots had brought her and Chuck side by side again after a long absence, but something (maybe it's her, maybe it's Chuck, maybe it's death) seems to have thrown that into imbalance once more. (It's Raleigh, she'll realize the next time she looks at her copilot, her gaze tracing his brow to the slope of his nose and down to his mouth and away again.)
Mako doesn't roll her eyes (she hasn't since she was a child) but maybe the desire is there. ] I had help.
[ Who was yours? ]
That changed following graduation, when Chuck was assigned to copilot Striker with his father and Mako's drift stability fell into question again and again. After that, Mako found herself lagging behind while Chuck continued to leap ahead: into the conn-pod and onto the evening news. (—that's Striker Eureka's tenth kill to date—) Two paths that ran in tandem then diverged, one to the neural bridge and one to the engineering bay, but even then their past held them together, a tautly held thread constantly threatening to snap.
Now, however, Mako's not too sure. Becoming one of Gipsy's pilots had brought her and Chuck side by side again after a long absence, but something (maybe it's her, maybe it's Chuck, maybe it's death) seems to have thrown that into imbalance once more. (It's Raleigh, she'll realize the next time she looks at her copilot, her gaze tracing his brow to the slope of his nose and down to his mouth and away again.)
Mako doesn't roll her eyes (she hasn't since she was a child) but maybe the desire is there. ] I had help.
[ Who was yours? ]
Slow?
[ because chuck's understanding of the silence that came with it- that was another matter entirely. that was making his peace with the life he'd lead and feeling pentecost's own stretch out into his awareness and somewhere in the middle of all of it, deciding what they had. listening to that countdown together.
it didn't feel like enough time, but maybe that was alright. he's hard pressed to think of a series of memories where he didn't want more, and chuck's spent too many years telling himself that's the way life is meant to be. ]
[ because chuck's understanding of the silence that came with it- that was another matter entirely. that was making his peace with the life he'd lead and feeling pentecost's own stretch out into his awareness and somewhere in the middle of all of it, deciding what they had. listening to that countdown together.
it didn't feel like enough time, but maybe that was alright. he's hard pressed to think of a series of memories where he didn't want more, and chuck's spent too many years telling himself that's the way life is meant to be. ]
[ There's the soft sound of movement as Alayne shakes her head. Again, quickly: ] Too slow.
[ In the end, death for her had been too much and yet, at the same time, not enough. But Alayne has always been a selfish girl — first wanting a prince, then wanting the capital; wanting Robb and his armies to put everyone's heads upon the walls; wanting to fly away, wanting to be someone else; wanting love to run her through like an iron spike. But perhaps for a man like Chuck Hansen, who to Alayne seems to want not enough, maybe for him it had been just right.
The thought makes her sad for him. Death should be a loss. ]
[ In the end, death for her had been too much and yet, at the same time, not enough. But Alayne has always been a selfish girl — first wanting a prince, then wanting the capital; wanting Robb and his armies to put everyone's heads upon the walls; wanting to fly away, wanting to be someone else; wanting love to run her through like an iron spike. But perhaps for a man like Chuck Hansen, who to Alayne seems to want not enough, maybe for him it had been just right.
The thought makes her sad for him. Death should be a loss. ]
[ Mako knows what she saw. Mako knows what she saw. But she also knows what she saw is impossible, so she validates the facts. ]
Location?
[ As far as she knows, no one has gone anywhere yet, but she has to be sure. (It was just the one time, but Mako knows what she saw.) ]
Location?
[ As far as she knows, no one has gone anywhere yet, but she has to be sure. (It was just the one time, but Mako knows what she saw.) ]
[ this is unusual. it's unusual because mako knows the same way that chuck knows- they'd be firing off messages immediately if their situations had changed, for better or worse. that she's asking now, well ahead of schedule, has his brows knit together. ]
What happened?
What happened?
[ Chuck's voice feels real enough in her ear but Mako finds herself checking her earpiece twice before responding back. I don't know isn't something she can allow herself to admit. Mako would make herself know. ]
I need you to validate your location.
I need you to validate your location.
Edited 2013-10-04 15:43 (UTC)
[ Mako dances around possible answers. I saw something or I saw you you or I'm afraid I've been compromised. There is a feeling she can't shake, one that refuses to stay down no matter how hard she wrangles it and how stubbornly she pushes back. It's irrational and making her question herself and Mako can manage to shut it down ]
There are reports that have begun to filter in through the group.
Eye witness accounts of things that shouldn't be possible.
They've been designated as causes of fatigue and mental exhaustion, or the belated on-set of shock.
There are reports that have begun to filter in through the group.
Eye witness accounts of things that shouldn't be possible.
They've been designated as causes of fatigue and mental exhaustion, or the belated on-set of shock.
[ the words make sense to him, in the back of his mind. somewhere that he can take it apart and tell himself yes, yes there's an explanation, and no there isn't anything wrong with him, because he could swear he heard- ]
S'just like the RABIT, Mori. Don't chase it.
S'just like the RABIT, Mori. Don't chase it.
[ Her response cuts in with an uncertain inhale, Mako's wavering breath the only sound on the line for a long moment. They've known one another long enough for Chuck to recognize the sound. When she was younger she'd breathe much the same way into her hands in an attempt to wrangle herself under control. ]
It was you.
It was you.
No it wasn't.
[ yeah, he knows that sound. it's like a warning bell. mako has always been as fixed a point as pentecost. when they were children, when she would slide, that designation had fallen to chuck. it should mean something to him- that he's able to find his way back to this place without so much as an upwards glance. ]
I haven't left medical. [ you know that ]
[ yeah, he knows that sound. it's like a warning bell. mako has always been as fixed a point as pentecost. when they were children, when she would slide, that designation had fallen to chuck. it should mean something to him- that he's able to find his way back to this place without so much as an upwards glance. ]
I haven't left medical. [ you know that ]
[ You know that. Mako cuts her teeth on the thought, tries to chew it but when she goes to swallow it comes right back up again, unwilling to stay down. As a child some of the doctors who she was sent to speak to would teach her how to breathe in through her nose and out through her mouth and Mako tries that now, some of that panic receding while other parts of it kick up again.
Get it together, she tells herself. When she speaks again, it's through partially gritted teeth. ]
There's something affecting the people here. [ I know something is wrong with me. ]
Get it together, she tells herself. When she speaks again, it's through partially gritted teeth. ]
There's something affecting the people here. [ I know something is wrong with me. ]
You're not actually sticking to them, right.
[ he doesn't understand what chuck means when he says we have our orders, but even if he did, raleigh thinks he'll do what he's always done when given an order he doesn't believe in — wholesale disregard, made solid by sheer force of will, and it's definitely cost him more than an armful of nerve damage and a brain half-mushed, but he wasn't going to change that any time soon.
he wasn't going to change that part of him - the part that, to this day, he reminds himself had cost him yancy - especially not when the alternative would be someone else's family becoming the cost.
raleigh's done with that. a hundred times over done with that. ]
Talk me through it, [ he asks, because there's a power to words that raleigh knows of, how just saying things make them more real, more founded. talk me through it, it might help. ]
[ he doesn't understand what chuck means when he says we have our orders, but even if he did, raleigh thinks he'll do what he's always done when given an order he doesn't believe in — wholesale disregard, made solid by sheer force of will, and it's definitely cost him more than an armful of nerve damage and a brain half-mushed, but he wasn't going to change that any time soon.
he wasn't going to change that part of him - the part that, to this day, he reminds himself had cost him yancy - especially not when the alternative would be someone else's family becoming the cost.
raleigh's done with that. a hundred times over done with that. ]
Talk me through it, [ he asks, because there's a power to words that raleigh knows of, how just saying things make them more real, more founded. talk me through it, it might help. ]
I know.
[ it's admission as much as acknowledgement. understanding. i hear you chuck tells her, between the silences (the way he's always spoken to her, the way he's always spoken to everyone) and it still ends the same way. but we don't have time to stop now. they're compromised, and if that's really the case- the who knows how much worse it'll get. if it'll affect the others. what this means for any of them.
and all they can do is pick up and keep goddamn going. ]
[ it's admission as much as acknowledgement. understanding. i hear you chuck tells her, between the silences (the way he's always spoken to her, the way he's always spoken to everyone) and it still ends the same way. but we don't have time to stop now. they're compromised, and if that's really the case- the who knows how much worse it'll get. if it'll affect the others. what this means for any of them.
and all they can do is pick up and keep goddamn going. ]
[ I know, Chuck says it's all Mako needs. (It grounds her, pushing away the image of Chuck dissolving into the darkness, blood still wet on the pauldrons of his drivesuit, his mouth an angry red line accusing her: he isn't here.) So she doesn't comment, just exhales once over the line, her breath not uneven but a definite sound. He hears her, he understands, and he's still pushing forward. (Doubt, uncharacteristic, attempts to niggle at her, like a stranger's voice whispering at the edges of conversation, the very best soldiers always die.)
When she speaks again, her voice has just refound its register. It's harder now, almost stubborn. ] Any other reports among your team?
[ Is it just you? Is it just us? ]
When she speaks again, her voice has just refound its register. It's harder now, almost stubborn. ] Any other reports among your team?
[ Is it just you? Is it just us? ]
You betcha. Tentacles and all. Gonna take some work to get all those limbs off.
[ he laughs again, a wheezing, breathy sort of sound that means he doesn't really find it hilarious so much as wildly unbelievable and does he really need to deal with this crap. he exhales, then, more of a sigh. ]
What's going on over there?
[ he laughs again, a wheezing, breathy sort of sound that means he doesn't really find it hilarious so much as wildly unbelievable and does he really need to deal with this crap. he exhales, then, more of a sigh. ]
What's going on over there?
No. [ there's a burn to the syllables- one like the rock that hit his stomach the first time he'd had a full mouth of whiskey. like a night spent coughing when the worst flu the shatterdome had ever seen swept through the ranks in a matter of days, and chuck had landed himself with walking pneumonia.
mori holds on hard to whatever new-found resolve has solidified between them, and chuck knows neither one of them has the luxury of self-doubt. ]
Your boy's all green, last check in. [ because his old man isn't going to tell him a damn thing. an extension of every habit that's defined their relationship. ]
mori holds on hard to whatever new-found resolve has solidified between them, and chuck knows neither one of them has the luxury of self-doubt. ]
Your boy's all green, last check in. [ because his old man isn't going to tell him a damn thing. an extension of every habit that's defined their relationship. ]
Fuckin' christ-
[ it's a mutter because he has to say something. because he has no idea where to start with a goddamn tentacle monster on a goddamn zombie infested ship in goddamn outer space. because he needs to say something to disguise the wheeze of his old man's voice and the reminder that there's poison in the air he's sucking into his lungs. chuck feels it the way he feels the drift sometimes. every now and again he's sure that the air is thinner. that his chest doesn't fill up the way it's supposed to. ]
Found head'a medical.
He's dead.
[ it's a mutter because he has to say something. because he has no idea where to start with a goddamn tentacle monster on a goddamn zombie infested ship in goddamn outer space. because he needs to say something to disguise the wheeze of his old man's voice and the reminder that there's poison in the air he's sucking into his lungs. chuck feels it the way he feels the drift sometimes. every now and again he's sure that the air is thinner. that his chest doesn't fill up the way it's supposed to. ]
Found head'a medical.
He's dead.
[ His old man isn't going to tell Chuck a damn thing but one of the things that Mako has always had going for her is the fact that she isn't Hercules Hansen's daughter — a fact which affords her a kind of frankness that Chuck, being his son, has never truly been afforded. ]
The team in Hydroponics has met resistance so the initiative has been forced to divide its efforts. [ That's the official way of saying it (she'd never say your father's all right). But there's a beat and then Mako elaborates ] The marshal's at the forefront. [ Where all rangers should be. ] He's had his injuries addressed by a member of his team. According to his reports, he's fighting fit again.
The team in Hydroponics has met resistance so the initiative has been forced to divide its efforts. [ That's the official way of saying it (she'd never say your father's all right). But there's a beat and then Mako elaborates ] The marshal's at the forefront. [ Where all rangers should be. ] He's had his injuries addressed by a member of his team. According to his reports, he's fighting fit again.
[ that's where they come apart.
chuck and raleigh have been a hell of a lot of things in their collective history thus far, but there's never been symmetry. it's nothing to grieve over, not when the only person he has that could ever come close to friendship is his father- not when they have nothing but the drift. he knows what becket's saying without the words to articulate it. it's a punch to the gut, one that flattens his diaphragm and takes a rib with it and leaves him winded. angry.
becket tells him to ignore it and go on anyway. but that isn't a call chuck has ever made on his own, isn't the kind of call any good ranger makes when he's in the field. he couldn't make it in the bay of hong kong. and he can't make it now.
there are some things he won't be able to undo. chuck remembers getting word when gipsy danger had gone down. when yancy becket had been lost and his copilot fucked off to lands unknown. chuck wants nothing more than to go after his old man- it hammers in his lungs and drums in his ears. ]
Nothin' to talk about.
[ but his dad gave the order. and what he needs is for chuck to do his job. ]
chuck and raleigh have been a hell of a lot of things in their collective history thus far, but there's never been symmetry. it's nothing to grieve over, not when the only person he has that could ever come close to friendship is his father- not when they have nothing but the drift. he knows what becket's saying without the words to articulate it. it's a punch to the gut, one that flattens his diaphragm and takes a rib with it and leaves him winded. angry.
becket tells him to ignore it and go on anyway. but that isn't a call chuck has ever made on his own, isn't the kind of call any good ranger makes when he's in the field. he couldn't make it in the bay of hong kong. and he can't make it now.
there are some things he won't be able to undo. chuck remembers getting word when gipsy danger had gone down. when yancy becket had been lost and his copilot fucked off to lands unknown. chuck wants nothing more than to go after his old man- it hammers in his lungs and drums in his ears. ]
Nothin' to talk about.
[ but his dad gave the order. and what he needs is for chuck to do his job. ]
[ in the smattering of life lessons and social graces chuck had neither the opportunity or interest to learn- expressions of gratitude are likely somewhere to the forefront. between following orders and doing the job, your co-pilot is the be all end all of whoever you are beyond your tags, beyond being a ranger.
and the hansens haven't been civvies for too many years to count.
mori gives him coveted information- the kinds of details chuck knows he would never receive on his own, and instead of the thank you that could be offered, or some granule of mutual acknowledgement, chuck only lapses into a brief (but no less complete) silence.
when he speaks at last, there's a sense that's he's nodded his head, but not much else. fighting fit huh? ]
'Nough to fight a kraken at any rate.
and the hansens haven't been civvies for too many years to count.
mori gives him coveted information- the kinds of details chuck knows he would never receive on his own, and instead of the thank you that could be offered, or some granule of mutual acknowledgement, chuck only lapses into a brief (but no less complete) silence.
when he speaks at last, there's a sense that's he's nodded his head, but not much else. fighting fit huh? ]
'Nough to fight a kraken at any rate.
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