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Alayne.
[ he doesn't look to the communicator the same way he has always avoided looking at her face. it isn't that he fears the connection, no, never that- but that chuck has always had the luxury to choose what the connection will be. it is one thing to meet a man's eyes when you stare him down, dare him to strike you. it's another entirely when it means goodbye.
chuck decided a long time ago that he was never saying goodbye again. ]
What happens in this place, when you die.
[ he doesn't look to the communicator the same way he has always avoided looking at her face. it isn't that he fears the connection, no, never that- but that chuck has always had the luxury to choose what the connection will be. it is one thing to meet a man's eyes when you stare him down, dare him to strike you. it's another entirely when it means goodbye.
chuck decided a long time ago that he was never saying goodbye again. ]
What happens in this place, when you die.
[ It's a delicate question with an indelicate answer, one bought with blood and brutality. Die once and you become a monster, all bones and decay on your breath. Die twice and the second time will be at the hands of your friends, the ones that had sworn to protect you failed. (Or perhaps they are the ones who die. Under your hands. You swore to protect me.)
Alayne shuts her eyes and tries not to think about it. It fills her stomach with a terrible acid that threatens to eat at her insides. ]
I cannot rightly say.
Perhaps nothing happens. Perhaps it is an end.
Alayne shuts her eyes and tries not to think about it. It fills her stomach with a terrible acid that threatens to eat at her insides. ]
I cannot rightly say.
Perhaps nothing happens. Perhaps it is an end.
[ Make makes a soft mm sound: confirmation that she'd had this explained to her once before (albeit in not so official terms). Aim for the arms was the only instruction Carver had provided but Mako hadn't argued it, just nodded and took it as rote. ]
How's your aim? [ Hers isn't great. She isn't used to the plasma cutter but Mako knows she will be with enough practice. ]
How's your aim? [ Hers isn't great. She isn't used to the plasma cutter but Mako knows she will be with enough practice. ]
Long as you don't chat my ear off.
[ it suits him just fine, for far more reasons that he's willing to admit. there's a shuffling on the opposite end of the feed. a faint thud, followed by the squelch of wet boots on the ground.
just when it seems he'll let it play, without another word- ]
And don't be a hero.
[ it suits him just fine, for far more reasons that he's willing to admit. there's a shuffling on the opposite end of the feed. a faint thud, followed by the squelch of wet boots on the ground.
just when it seems he'll let it play, without another word- ]
And don't be a hero.
Edited 2013-09-30 00:03 (UTC)
[ her hand comes down onto his arm, and it isn't anything like electricity. but it's the first time someone's touched him since he got here, since he suited up to head into the breach, and it does something to his nerve endings. chuck doesn't short circuit. but part of him sinks. comes out of the air and seeps back into his bones. returns him to his body.
his gaze drops on reflex, moves to the single point that defines the be-all-end-all of their connection, like he just needs to see it to be sure. like burning the image into his memory will mean something. here, or now. whatever those words were supposed to count for. when chuck finally looks back at her it's impossible to define the difference. there's no loss of tension, no absence of mangled identities and half-formed ideas about who and why and what they are. but chuck nods, and something- some small, translucent piece between them, slots into place. ]
his gaze drops on reflex, moves to the single point that defines the be-all-end-all of their connection, like he just needs to see it to be sure. like burning the image into his memory will mean something. here, or now. whatever those words were supposed to count for. when chuck finally looks back at her it's impossible to define the difference. there's no loss of tension, no absence of mangled identities and half-formed ideas about who and why and what they are. but chuck nods, and something- some small, translucent piece between them, slots into place. ]
[ it's the last thing he wants to hear. not because it's sentimental- he can work with that (had grown up with it, once) work around that. and it isn't because he wants something different- something he can wrap his mind around in terms of his own experience.
it's because the whole goddamn world they'd turned up in doesn't make any sense. and because chuck half expected the rules to be different all the way through. he inhales deep, and exhales slow. ]
You should hide.
it's because the whole goddamn world they'd turned up in doesn't make any sense. and because chuck half expected the rules to be different all the way through. he inhales deep, and exhales slow. ]
You should hide.
Worth askin' about once I've gotta gun.
[ there's a frown that translates easily to his voice, but it's left for the acknowledgment of his vulnerability, not the question. mori'd known him long enough, well enough, to have the answer long before she asked. ]
I've got'a line open with Becket.
[ there's a frown that translates easily to his voice, but it's left for the acknowledgment of his vulnerability, not the question. mori'd known him long enough, well enough, to have the answer long before she asked. ]
I've got'a line open with Becket.
Jesus Christ—
[ Raleigh gets out that much before something starts trudging its way in his direction and that takes up the rest of his time for a good few minutes fighting with it, softly bit curse words filtering through the pneumatic sound of a pulse rifle discharging.
It's like having a pulse cannon in miniature.
And he probably said that out loud. ]
[ Raleigh gets out that much before something starts trudging its way in his direction and that takes up the rest of his time for a good few minutes fighting with it, softly bit curse words filtering through the pneumatic sound of a pulse rifle discharging.
It's like having a pulse cannon in miniature.
And he probably said that out loud. ]
[ Alayne exhales softly. Not a laugh, not even an approximation of one, but an expression nevertheless — more of that resignation seeping through. She'd been aboard the Tranquility and survived that, but only because she had banners and her brothers hoarded around her (a right pack of wolves). Here, with only Marius by her side, Marius who was as frightened as she was, it's difficult to feel steel in her spine. (She isn't ivory or porcelain; she's spun glass.) ]
There is no place to hide here. The dead live in the walls. They own the dark.
[ There's a pause and then Alayne asks: ] Does death frighten you?
[ She'd known it once already, during her time amongst the stars. The wound in her belly had bled and bled and she'd slipped into a nothingness that held her and refused to let her go. ]
There is no place to hide here. The dead live in the walls. They own the dark.
[ There's a pause and then Alayne asks: ] Does death frighten you?
[ She'd known it once already, during her time amongst the stars. The wound in her belly had bled and bled and she'd slipped into a nothingness that held her and refused to let her go. ]
I don't like leavin' loose ends.
[ which is an answer as much as it isn't one. chuck knows he can still feel afraid, because he's never been fearless. it tightens itself around his spine or sits- a rock, in the pit of his stomach. there are things that change in a person when they come to know their own mortality, when they come to know the limits of those they believe should have none at all.
chuck thinks about his old man and his stubbornness. the things that continue to go unsaid between them. ]
There somethin' you wanna finish?
[ which is an answer as much as it isn't one. chuck knows he can still feel afraid, because he's never been fearless. it tightens itself around his spine or sits- a rock, in the pit of his stomach. there are things that change in a person when they come to know their own mortality, when they come to know the limits of those they believe should have none at all.
chuck thinks about his old man and his stubbornness. the things that continue to go unsaid between them. ]
There somethin' you wanna finish?
Improvise, [ she tells him (again, things he doesn't really need to hear but she offers nevertheless. As grim as circumstances might be, she maintains the kind of tenacity that's bred into all rangers.
There are jobs to do, you do them. Arm yourself, secure the area, then move forward. ]
Is that a good idea? [ Only the slightest bit of concern colors her voice. It went without saying that she and Raleigh had an "open line" themselves, but compatibility tethered them together, not the comms. ]
There are jobs to do, you do them. Arm yourself, secure the area, then move forward. ]
Is that a good idea? [ Only the slightest bit of concern colors her voice. It went without saying that she and Raleigh had an "open line" themselves, but compatibility tethered them together, not the comms. ]
Does anyone? [ she asks quietly, though she already knows the answer is yes. There were those who would run far away from the threads of their lives if they could. (Alayne had, had shorn the warp and the weft of Sansa completely, only to bury that ruined tapestry deep in herself, where she dare not look.)
She falls quiet for a while, distant noises moving through the background of her feed. The others are keeping busy, doing things that Alayne does not trust herself to do. She is, in every way possible, utterly useless at this moment. All she has to occupy herself is this: the sound of Chuck Hansen's voice in her ear. It's an unexpected and welcome comfort, though she would never dare admit it. ]
Once, there were many things. [ Hopes. Dreams. Responsibilities befitting a young lady of the North. ] But one by one, they fell away with time. Until all that remained was the desire to live.
Or perhaps not even the desire. Perhaps simply the habit of it.
She falls quiet for a while, distant noises moving through the background of her feed. The others are keeping busy, doing things that Alayne does not trust herself to do. She is, in every way possible, utterly useless at this moment. All she has to occupy herself is this: the sound of Chuck Hansen's voice in her ear. It's an unexpected and welcome comfort, though she would never dare admit it. ]
Once, there were many things. [ Hopes. Dreams. Responsibilities befitting a young lady of the North. ] But one by one, they fell away with time. Until all that remained was the desire to live.
Or perhaps not even the desire. Perhaps simply the habit of it.
[ underneath all of that, there's a joke waiting for the punchline. something about chuck hansen and bad ideas. but no one says it and the moment passes and then it's just the two of them, bantering about the inevitable and things they both know need to be done.
chuck has one pack finished, ready to be secured to his back. he'll have a second completed in a matter of minutes. ]
Guess we'll find out.
chuck has one pack finished, ready to be secured to his back. he'll have a second completed in a matter of minutes. ]
Guess we'll find out.
[ There's a computer that requires access and a complete lack of light in this part of the hold. In the back of her mind Mako is already trying to diagnose the problem as her eyes scan the room, trying to trace lines to power sources and routing boxes — difficult in the dark, but not impossible.
Soon she'll need her hands free and will be heads down while tasks are delegated to the others. ]
Keep the line clear. [ Again, not a request. They wouldn't have time to squabble amongst themselves with their backs against the wall. Most of the time it wasn't an issue but when they fought it was back to back and side to side, not separated by distances that pulled and prodded at their moods. ]
Check-ins, every hour.
Soon she'll need her hands free and will be heads down while tasks are delegated to the others. ]
Keep the line clear. [ Again, not a request. They wouldn't have time to squabble amongst themselves with their backs against the wall. Most of the time it wasn't an issue but when they fought it was back to back and side to side, not separated by distances that pulled and prodded at their moods. ]
Check-ins, every hour.
[ chuck isn't the kind of man who hands out comforts. he doesn't have the right soul for it, and he sure as hell doesn't have the temperment. the men and women of the shatterdome run on pure efficiency- on what needs to be done and what has to be scrapped, sold, bartered, and melted down to do it. as one of their own for as far back as he cares to remember, chuck had taken those ideologies into himself and buried them like seeds. shining and polished dreams about the kind of man he could be, and all of the impossibles he would do in exchange for his human heart.
what he's doing here and why the hell he's doing it- aren't things he can take the time to examine. it's possible he never will. ]
All that mouth on you an' you can't think of one thing you wanna do t'marrah morning?
what he's doing here and why the hell he's doing it- aren't things he can take the time to examine. it's possible he never will. ]
All that mouth on you an' you can't think of one thing you wanna do t'marrah morning?
[ chuck doesn't gripe because it goes beyond that. it isn't that mori's giving command orders so much as she's an echo- the repetition of everything that courses through his veins and hums in his ears. yes they're survivalists, and yes they're rangers- but pilots are trained (meant) to lean on one another. to exist as more than one consciousness in one space. the affirmations they seek out, the connections they reach for- are absolute reflex. ]
Understood.
Line clear, Hansen out.
Understood.
Line clear, Hansen out.
[ I want to see my family. But Alayne cannot say that for her family is dead and gone. I want to see my friends. But what guarantee did she have to last the night? Still, Chuck's question hadn't been what would she do, but what she wanted to do.
A breath and when Alayne speaks, her voice wavers. (A Stone does not cry, she tells herself, but those words fall upon deaf ears and fail to still a trembling heart.) Alayne's voice cracks when she speaks his name. ]
I want to see Isaac again. [ He'd protect her, he'd show her where to go and what to do. Isaac would keep her safe. ] He makes me brave.
A breath and when Alayne speaks, her voice wavers. (A Stone does not cry, she tells herself, but those words fall upon deaf ears and fail to still a trembling heart.) Alayne's voice cracks when she speaks his name. ]
I want to see Isaac again. [ He'd protect her, he'd show her where to go and what to do. Isaac would keep her safe. ] He makes me brave.
Edited 2013-09-30 03:34 (UTC)
[ He doesn't look any different and neither does she (he doesn't stand taller, his eyes aren't softer; their gaze they share is still lined with things left unsaid and swallowed) but there's a sense that something has come into realignment, like a part of themselves that had been thrown out of kilter the moment Chuck woke in this place to air in his lungs and blood pumping through his veins. Even without a word Mako knows it because she feels that same piece shift inside her as well. Like a lens racking forward only to finally find focus, indistinct lines sharpening again, gravity pulling once more on their feet. When they were children they used to speak this way for hours, but simply looking at one another and knowing without having to ask. (It's what had convinced them, once upon a time, that they would be copilots, that there wasn't anyone else in the whole wide world who could possibly understand themselves they way they understood one another.)
It's not exactly a comfortable sensation (they're different people now and had put that aside for a reason) but it's there and makes manifest in the moment that follows, in the way that Mako mouth forms a slightly bowed shape and she turns, stepping back to let Chuck in a little further into her room. ]
You're not in your suit, [ she observes. (The moment lingers but Mako refuses to talk about it. That wasn't her way and it wasn't theirs either.) ]
It's not exactly a comfortable sensation (they're different people now and had put that aside for a reason) but it's there and makes manifest in the moment that follows, in the way that Mako mouth forms a slightly bowed shape and she turns, stepping back to let Chuck in a little further into her room. ]
You're not in your suit, [ she observes. (The moment lingers but Mako refuses to talk about it. That wasn't her way and it wasn't theirs either.) ]
[ the admission is heavy- though whether it's owed to the content, or the splinter of her voice over the syllables of his name, chuck isn't certain. (he doesn't want to be certain, either.)
maybe it's a kind of idolatry. maybe it's the childish belief in heroes.
if he squints, and looks just right- chuck can see the parallels. between alayne's mister clarke, and chuck's old man. it's the kind of symmetry that hits him between the notches of his ribcage and burns on the inhale. ]
People can't make you anythin' you aren't already.
maybe it's a kind of idolatry. maybe it's the childish belief in heroes.
if he squints, and looks just right- chuck can see the parallels. between alayne's mister clarke, and chuck's old man. it's the kind of symmetry that hits him between the notches of his ribcage and burns on the inhale. ]
People can't make you anythin' you aren't already.
That's not true. [ She doesn't think he means to lie to her, nor to pander to her (Chuck does not seem the type). Alayne dismisses it as simply a matter of perspective, the difference between his world and his life in comparison to her own. Still, when she disagrees, Alayne's voice does not seem to argue. If anything it seems gentle, like she's revealing a truth to him he hadn't known before.
(That's more true than she'd care to admit. During the course of a single conversation, he's learned more about her than most do in a lifetime — so long as he thinks to look.
But that's the thing about Chuck Hansen. Alayne doesn't expect him to look and so he feels safe. Blank, empty. Like a cup she can pour herself into with the knowledge that, when they're finished, he'll pour her out again.) ]
People have made me all manner of things I had not been before knowing them.
(That's more true than she'd care to admit. During the course of a single conversation, he's learned more about her than most do in a lifetime — so long as he thinks to look.
But that's the thing about Chuck Hansen. Alayne doesn't expect him to look and so he feels safe. Blank, empty. Like a cup she can pour herself into with the knowledge that, when they're finished, he'll pour her out again.) ]
People have made me all manner of things I had not been before knowing them.
Then maybe you're thinkin' too small.
[ it's the closest he's come to an easy conversation in years. to something that isn't about competition or finding fault. chuck isn't rooting around for the seams in armor or seeking out old wounds. he isn't waiting for her to fall short. they aren't circling each other as wild dogs- starved for their next meal and angry for their empty bellies. ]
[ it's the closest he's come to an easy conversation in years. to something that isn't about competition or finding fault. chuck isn't rooting around for the seams in armor or seeking out old wounds. he isn't waiting for her to fall short. they aren't circling each other as wild dogs- starved for their next meal and angry for their empty bellies. ]
[ It's the closest he's come to an easy conversation in years and it's as close to frank as Alayne is capable of being without deliberateness prickling at the back of her neck or forcing her to curve every answer into a pleasing shape. When she replies it isn't premeditated. Her voice is surprisingly matter-of-fact (though there's a vulnerability there too, hidden between the words). ]
Or perhaps I am simply eager to please. [ A pause as she considers whether to explain. In the end, she does. ] To be a wanted is to have purpose, and to be needed is to be purpose.
Or perhaps I am simply eager to please. [ A pause as she considers whether to explain. In the end, she does. ] To be a wanted is to have purpose, and to be needed is to be purpose.
Or maybe you're a survivalist.
Because it sounds nice an' pretty if ya call it eager to please, and bein' a weapon's fine as long as you've got someone on the other end that knows how t'use you. [ he's equally matter of fact, and it might be a suggestion if there wasn't so much of it that struck so close to home. it's one thing to be a good ranger, a good copilot- but chuck hasn't stood on his own half as much as he'd like to believe he has. ]
Because it sounds nice an' pretty if ya call it eager to please, and bein' a weapon's fine as long as you've got someone on the other end that knows how t'use you. [ he's equally matter of fact, and it might be a suggestion if there wasn't so much of it that struck so close to home. it's one thing to be a good ranger, a good copilot- but chuck hasn't stood on his own half as much as he'd like to believe he has. ]
[ It's not the first time Alayne has been called that but it's something that usual comes with knowing one another well, which in turn only comes after the slow unfolding of herself. That Chuck arrives at it now so plainly would normally make her cautious, but instead of the clench of paranoia she feels something more akin to relief. ]
Cannot a weapon wield itself?
[ It's a personal question, but Alayne knows better than to ask it as one. ]
Cannot a weapon wield itself?
[ It's a personal question, but Alayne knows better than to ask it as one. ]
Dunno. Never tried. [ which is the closest to an understanding of himself that he's ever come. if it means something (anything) that this revelation is shared with alayne- a slip of a girl too easily dismissed- chuck has no desire to know.
this is the place where his reply should be assessed for its results. whether or not he had managed to soothe or comfort- but this had never been his intention, and thus, chuck finds himself free of whatever expectations would otherwise define them. ]
this is the place where his reply should be assessed for its results. whether or not he had managed to soothe or comfort- but this had never been his intention, and thus, chuck finds himself free of whatever expectations would otherwise define them. ]
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