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might have to
i feel like gutting someone
jfc who the fuck would do this
[ He needs to keep talking. It's the only thing keeping him from looking at the contents of the box. Again. ]
i feel like gutting someone
jfc who the fuck would do this
[ He needs to keep talking. It's the only thing keeping him from looking at the contents of the box. Again. ]
[ grabbing the box and covering it shut and forgetting to text chuck back because he's messaging mako instead ]
mako sent me coordinates
will update you all later
sent a message to your dad as well
thanks chuck
will update you all later
sent a message to your dad as well
thanks chuck
[ it must say something about them, the number of crises they've dealt with, and snap decisions- that chuck has his boots on and is out the door in little more than a minute. they're getting too goddamn used to this. exhaustion wars with irritation in the bruises beneath his eyes- but it isn't chuck's copilot that's gone missing and he sure as hell isn't about to complain.
becket can take point. ]
Where're we gonna start.
becket can take point. ]
Where're we gonna start.
Her patrol route, see if I missed anything.
[ It's a sign of how desperate he is to get a single clue on what happened to Mako, to retrace his own steps again, because if there's anything that rangers are taught well, it's answering to their intuition and trusting it. And plain as day, Raleigh clearly looks like he already knows what to expect this third go-round.
But fresh eyes would help, wouldn't it? He knows Mako too well, and maybe that's blinding him in certain areas, in places where he knows Mako won't look. Raleigh has to hope for something, even if it's flimsy, because the minute he stops is the minute he starts walking down the same road he took when Knifehead took Yancy from him.
For the first time in five years Raleigh is calling Alaska by what it's done, and by what had happened, and it's still like a knife between the ribs. ]
[ It's a sign of how desperate he is to get a single clue on what happened to Mako, to retrace his own steps again, because if there's anything that rangers are taught well, it's answering to their intuition and trusting it. And plain as day, Raleigh clearly looks like he already knows what to expect this third go-round.
But fresh eyes would help, wouldn't it? He knows Mako too well, and maybe that's blinding him in certain areas, in places where he knows Mako won't look. Raleigh has to hope for something, even if it's flimsy, because the minute he stops is the minute he starts walking down the same road he took when Knifehead took Yancy from him.
For the first time in five years Raleigh is calling Alaska by what it's done, and by what had happened, and it's still like a knife between the ribs. ]
[ it's only one part of the dozens of differences between them. chuck knows it for what it is- a line that doesn't get crossed. a line he toes but doesn't commit to.
raleigh is a survivor.
maybe it's not entirely by choice, but at the end of the day, his heart's still beating. mori's the same way. and so is his old man. but being alive isn't the same as being whole and there are times that chuck will catch the shadows beneath their eyes or the flicker of their fingers or the set of their shoulders and he knows. because sometimes being alive means you're the one left behind.
it isn't something the rangers talk about.
loss can't be personal when you're a jaeger pilot.
chuck's voice is quiet in the space between them and he falls into step without a second thought. ]
You can't feel her?
raleigh is a survivor.
maybe it's not entirely by choice, but at the end of the day, his heart's still beating. mori's the same way. and so is his old man. but being alive isn't the same as being whole and there are times that chuck will catch the shadows beneath their eyes or the flicker of their fingers or the set of their shoulders and he knows. because sometimes being alive means you're the one left behind.
it isn't something the rangers talk about.
loss can't be personal when you're a jaeger pilot.
chuck's voice is quiet in the space between them and he falls into step without a second thought. ]
You can't feel her?
[ Don't ask me that ever again are the words that sit heavily on Raleigh's tongue as the question brings him up short, full stop - like his heart's stopped, all the warmth in his blood frozen up. His hands are balled up into fists, the knuckles white - his teeth gnashing at the pressure he puts on his jaw.
All pilots never come whole. Maybe they were, before they put themselves into the connpod; they certainly never come out of it the same way. Every kaiju knocked back into the sea carries away with it pieces of who they are, like waves raking over the sand and dragging bits of other people's lives into the water. They made monsters of their own - they made monsters of their own, out of people, until they don't remember what it was they were before.
(And then the world left them behind.)
(Raleigh can't do that again.) ]
No.
All pilots never come whole. Maybe they were, before they put themselves into the connpod; they certainly never come out of it the same way. Every kaiju knocked back into the sea carries away with it pieces of who they are, like waves raking over the sand and dragging bits of other people's lives into the water. They made monsters of their own - they made monsters of their own, out of people, until they don't remember what it was they were before.
(And then the world left them behind.)
(Raleigh can't do that again.) ]
No.
You'd know if she was gone.
[ it comes out quick, as much defiance as it is certainty. because there's a difference between separation and death. between the massive yawning absence of the space someone used to fill- and a sudden quiet. chuck wasn't the one to have to pick up the pieces, but he feels the tension of becket's jaw in his own mouth and he thinks that if anyone would know- it'd be raleigh.
they wouldn't be out here looking if there wasn't a chance in hell she'd turn up.
chuck isn't saying it because he needs to make that affirmation more true. it is what it is. he's saying it because raleigh needs to hear it- and chuck can give him that. ]
[ it comes out quick, as much defiance as it is certainty. because there's a difference between separation and death. between the massive yawning absence of the space someone used to fill- and a sudden quiet. chuck wasn't the one to have to pick up the pieces, but he feels the tension of becket's jaw in his own mouth and he thinks that if anyone would know- it'd be raleigh.
they wouldn't be out here looking if there wasn't a chance in hell she'd turn up.
chuck isn't saying it because he needs to make that affirmation more true. it is what it is. he's saying it because raleigh needs to hear it- and chuck can give him that. ]
[Late but not forgotten, and perhaps a better product for the slight detour. A small package wrapped in twine and white clothe appears on his pillow. Inside is the charm. A lightweight silver chain beaded in small precious stones. There are several charms which dangle from its center link: tiny, delicate bones barely more than eyelashes, an insect wing dipped and stiffened in lacquer, and at last there is the single dog tag registered for ranger hercules hansen. The tag appears unchanged, but to the touch it radiates a gentle warmth.
There is a note which accompanies it: ]
You are welcome.
[[ooc; gives pluses to luck and resistances, if you guys need and idea of where you might be able to use it. Eden will also know where the thing is since the city is a small enough area for her to keep track, if that's alright.]]
There is a note which accompanies it: ]
You are welcome.
[[ooc; gives pluses to luck and resistances, if you guys need and idea of where you might be able to use it. Eden will also know where the thing is since the city is a small enough area for her to keep track, if that's alright.]]
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